


it’s the voice in my head and the fear in my heart

by aaxbbxx



Series: Written in The Stars • ASTRO oneshots [19]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Relationship Crisis, all light era, i really don’t know how tags work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:23:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18626869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaxbbxx/pseuds/aaxbbxx
Summary: Sanha always had fears that Minhyuk would leave him...it was coming true





	it’s the voice in my head and the fear in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> main: socky

The stars were twinkling bright in the sky, the only light reflecting down over the city. Everything was quiet save for the occasional car passing down below, the small sounds of crickets, and the breathing of one man overlooking the terrace of the rooftop.

 

Sanha looked down, his body almost half hanging over the wall of the edge of the rooftop, sighing audibly as another sleepless night came upon him. It's been that way lately and he winced at getting another scolding from their makeup artists the next day (or later in the morning rather) as the bags under his eyes almost becoming permanent with the lack of rest.  _Why now?_   He thought as he leaned on his arm, his hand cupping his cheek and acting as support for his heavy head. 

 

He and Minhyuk hadn't been really dating long – okay, maybe it was almost a year or two – but Sanha's feelings had been brimming under the surface since he met the dancer. He remembered – it was during their fourth mini album – the first time he confessed, couldn't taking hiding it anymore, not when his jealousy was all over the place and Minhyuk had caught on and confronted him about, so he had spat it out. To his surprise, instead of being disgusted and running away from him, the young rapper had blushed and said that he liked him too. They didn't date right away, tiptoeing around each other and flirting between joking with each other, until one of the members – MJ or Bin, he couldn't recall – had had enough and told them to just ' _fucking date please, I'm sick of you guys pretending_ ',  their only response was for Sanha to scream behind his hands and Minhyuk to blush while trying to keep a straight face. Safe to say, they were official that night.

 

But when had things became complicated? He wondered if he had done something wrong, he could have caught on, and maybe he wouldn't be in this predicament.  _This_   being  in a situation where his worst fears coming true. Sanha had always had trepidation on Minhyuk leaving him. He recalled one of their talks, when he had blurted his fear and Minhyuk had only cradled his face and said  ' _I love you and nothing will ever make me leave you_ '  but that felt like a millennium ago.

 

It was the new start of the year, their first regular album came out, going on their world tour; but all Sanha could feel was emptiness inside of him, a feeling that he was slowly coping with for many months now. He didn't know what happened, but Minhyuk had drifted away and no matter how much he'd reach out, throw a lifeline or another, he couldn't hold on. 

 

At first, he had dismissed it as Minhyuk being tired and stressed when he would avoid his affections. The second time it happened, he waved it off that his boyfriend was just having a bad day. But the third? Fourth? Sanha had felt queasy at the meaning behind all of it, so he had backed off, gave Minhyuk space – had been giving him space for months and he didn't know how long he could stand for it. Minhyuk might as well have broken up with him.

 

' _You'd tell me if you found someone else? I'd understand.'_

_'Yoon Sanha, babo, I would never.'_

 

When Sanha had been left all alone in his last year of high school, he was worried that the additional time that the school provided for Minhyuk and him to spend with, would affect their relationship, but it didn't, not really. His rapper boyfriend would sometimes visit him if he wasn't busy with any work schedules, and they'd hang out in the car or one of the secluded corridors, talking, laughing, kissing. After awhile though, near the end of the last year, that's when it started. The pulling away, the distant looks, the dismissal. It _hurt_.

 

Sanha had wanted to talk to him about it, had wanted to clear things up, but he was always afraid it would lead to them really breaking up and he was selfish enough not to want that. But over the past silent months, he thinks it wouldn't be any different with how Minhyuk has been treating him, at least then he'd know where they were standing. Right now, Sanha was floating on a cloud of in denial: of his situation and of his feelings. He couldn't continue living like this anymore, something's got to give, and he wasn't sure if he was totally ready.

 

"Aga, that's dangerous."

 

Sanha snapped his head towards the voice, his head falling off his hand, startled.

 

"Jinwoo-hyung..." he greeted blandly, leaning away from the edge.

 

"Seems like dejavu." The leader mumbled fondly, rubbing his eyes and letting out a yawn.

 

Sanha couldn't help but smile a little, recalling the numerous times his hyung would scold him for always leaning over the balcony or building, remembering that one vlive his hyung stopped for a second to call him over (he frowned though when he remembered that Minhyuk was there too). He shook away his thoughts and sat on the bench beside his hyung, the older leaning his head on his shoulder letting out another yawn.

 

"Why are you awake so early, hyung? It's weird." He chuckled lowly, shifting his shoulder to move the older's head.

 

Jinwoo slapped at his leg weakly. "Ya, ya!"

 

"Sorry."

 

They were silent for a moment before suddenly, Jinwoo sat up straight, head tilting up to the disappearing stars. "The sun's about to come up in a couple of hours."

 

Sanha hummed in agreement, this time it was he who slumped against the older, closing his heavy lids.

 

"I was wondering where you went, and why you haven't been sleeping at night."

 

Sanha blinked his eyes open, but didn't move.  _Should he say what's going on_?

 

"I'm just worried about you, aga, Myungjun too. You've got bags under your eyes, and you're always tired lately." Jinwoo ruffled his hair affectionately. "Where's our evil and energetic maknae?"

 

Sanha snorted despite the feelings warring inside of him. "It's normal to be tired, hyung. We've all been busy with our comeback."

 

"I know it's not because of our comeback, Sanha. It's something else." Jinwoo looked down at the youngest, tilting his head up to stare worriedly. "You know you can tell hyung anything right?"

 

Sanha knew he can tell Jinwoo anything, the leader would listen and even offer him advice, but this time he didn't feel like he should say what was on his mind, he was still not ready to say it out loud to himself, much less to anyone else so he shook his head.

 

"It's nothing hyung." then he tilted his head back down and closed his eyes. "I want to sleep. Can we nap here until we have to go back in?"

 

Jinwoo frowned, but made some sort of noise to agree. It was a good thing he wore his thick sweater, and by the looks of things, Sanha knew it was cold out, if his bulky hoodie and sweatpants were to tell him anything. He knew the youngest had something going on his mind, he noticed how  _withdrawn_   Sanha had been lately, how  _reserved_   he was during their schedules. He wasn't their giant baby that was off goofing around (he _still_ was , but there was a lacklustre to it), and Jinwoo was concerned on just what happened to make the maknae be that way. He had an idea, but he's not getting in between them just yet, he'll wait until one of them was ready to tell him and he's going to be there and listen.

 

"Just know, whenever you're ready, I'm here to talk." Jinwoo mumbled, pressing a delicate kiss on top of the younger's forehead, Sanha only snuggled closer in reply.

 

They stayed like that until the skies had turned red, then orange, until eventually the birds were chirping and it was another new day, another busy schedule ahead.

 

One thing is for sure, they still had work to do and other things can wait for now.

 

 

–––––

 

A few weeks later, it all came to a head when Sanha had finally snapped, his thin piece of sanity breaking during practice on one of their breaks. 

 

Sanha honestly didn't know how it happened, he couldn't even remember _talking_ to  Minhyuk. But he sure as hell recall that he had had enough. The rest was there with them, Jinwoo, Myungjun, Dongmin and Bin, despite knowing that, despite not wanting them to know that he and Minhyuk were having issues, he was done. Done with the silence, done with being in denial, done with keeping things to himself. 

 

"IF YOU FUCKING WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME, JUST TELL ME THAN LEAVING ME TO WONDER FOR MONTHS. THAT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN FUCKING DO PARK MINHYUK!" He was shouting, voice hoarse, and he knew he shocked everyone in the room, including his  boyfriend who stared at him wide eyed, but kept silent.

 

"Sanha-ssi..." he heard Myungjun and Jinwoo call out to him, a hand was on his shoulder but he shook them off.

 

He laughed – loud and fake – and he felt something trail down his face as he continued to stare at Minhyuk. "What? Nothing to say?" He scoffed. "Of course, what did I expect? All I heard from you was silence, silence and more silence. Fine." Then he turned around, grabbed his bag and headed out the door, his name being echoed by the rest of the members.

 

He was done.

 

––

 

Minhyuk stood in shock at the turn of events. He knew everyone was stunned at what had just happened. Sanha rarely gets worked up (especially in seriousness) and never really yells upset, so upon witnessing, safe to say the issue was big.

 

“What just happened?” Bin said what everyone was thinking.

 

“I’ve never seen Sanha so...angry. Not even when I stole his game console.” Dongmin added, his gaze at the door where the youngest had left.

 

“Minhyuk, what’s going on?” Myungjun asked in concern, taking a step towards the frozen boy. Jinwoo however kept silent and had a calculating look on his face. 

 

“It’s my fault.” Minhyuk finally mumbled after a beat. He dragged his hands down his face, dropped down on the floor and buried his face in his knees. “All my fault. I’m sorry.”

 

The four older members watched with worry as the normally unmoved, stoic Rocky had fallen apart, muttering ‘sorry’s and ‘Sanha’s as he tried to curl up on himself. Jinwoo gestured for his hands for Myungjun and Bin to leave and find Sanha while he and Dongmin try to calm Minhyuk down and get an explanation. The two left silently, Myungjun leaving a chaste kiss on the cheek towards the elder and Bin squeezing the hand held by Dongmin, casting one last glance at their reliable rock before finally going through the same door the maknae had left.

 

Jinwoo and Dongmin approached the sad form and crouched beside Minhyuk, each grasping a shoulder and rubbing his back in soothing motions.

 

"Hyukkie, tell us what's going on?" Dongmin softly asked to the young rapper, Jinwoo murmuring the same.

 

It became silent, the soft mumbles of Minhyuk ceasing, Dongmin and Jinwoo exchanging worried looks over his head.

 

"It's my fault." Suddenly, Minhyuk raised his head, the silent tears streaming down his face slowly, made both vocals' heart constrict at the amount of sadness and guilt welling in the eyes of the rapper. "I...It's my fault hyung! I didn't mean to make him feel that way! It's my fault! I have to go and find him!" He scrambled up on his knees but the two stopped him. "No, no, I've got to go. Find Sanha."

 

"Hey, hey," Jinwoo grasped his face, trying to look at him. "Calm down, you can find him later, yeah?"

 

"Tell us what happened first? I'm sure Sanha is fine, M-hyung and Bin's got him." Dongmin measuredly said, trying to keep the flailing arms down.

 

Minhyuk stopped trying to get away, slumping back down on the floor. 

 

"Hyuk?" Jinwoo prompted, as he too sat back down on the floor, having gotten up to stop the younger from leaving.

 

Minhyuk stared at the floor. "I...I don't know."

 

Dongmin raised a brow at Jinwoo at that. "Something must have happened for Sanha to–"

 

"I know, okay?!" Minhyuk raised his voice, tone despaired. "I just...I just know it's my fault."

 

"Minhyuk, just start from the beginning? I know you're upset right now, but we need to know, so we can help." Jinwoo placed a hand on his shoulder. "We won't be mad, whatever that's going between you and Sanha is your business, we won't judge, okay? Just...please tell us."

 

Minhyuk was silent for a moment, his hands clenched tight on his knees.

 

"I've been," he licked his lips, avoiding eye contact with his hyungs. "avoiding him."

 

Jinwoo and Dongmin's brows raised past their hairlines. From what they observed, it didn't look like it, although they did notice the lack of communication between the two during group schedules but they didn't really place a second thought about it, dismissing it as the two being reserved for the sake of work.

 

"It's just...It's cliche, but it's not him, it's me."

 

"What about you?" Dongmin asked.

 

"People have insecurities, and I guess I got it into my head, and I don't know, I just started to pull away, the voice in my head saying I should."

 

Jinwoo closed his eyes briefly, knowing how that felt – had lived through that with Myungjun – and he knew it was not the best feeling in the world, although he knew now it was not true, but still with silence as companion, the only voice in your head being heard, it was hard.

 

"It's not true Minhyuk. I won't ask for details, Sanha should be the one to hear this from you. But all I'm going to say is that whatever voice in your head saying anything against you, it's not true. You're amazing, and Sanha loves you." Minhyuk looked hopefully at him and Jinwoo smiled.

 

"I agree with Jinwoo-hyung. Those voices are wrong, and you should believe in yourself, Hyukkie. The next time you feel this way, just know we're here for you, know that." Dongmin clasped his shoulder and gave him a small grin.

 

Minhyuk nodded but stayed silent, his eyes said his gratitude. He knew he should have spoken up to someone, shouldn't have stretched it out this long until something – someone – broke. He just hopes he could fix this, could fix  _them_ . He loves Sanha and he regrets not just talking to him about it.

 

"C'mon, let's clean up, I think practice is done for the day." Jinwoo offered a hand up, Minhyuk taking it after a beat.

 

"Oh!" They both turned to Dongmin, who smiled apologetically. "We've got a schedule with M-hyung and Binnie after, hyung."

 

Jinwoo gave a hum, then looked at the other rapper. "I guess this would be a good time to talk to Sanha."

 

Minhyuk only nodded, looking scared and hopeful for the prospect.

 

––

 

After running away from the practice room, Sanha bolted it to their dorm, heaving and huffing. By the time he got there, he bypassed their front door, and climbed up to the rooftop and sat down at the balcony's edge, his legs hanging and laying down on his back, the fatigue finally catching up. He covered an arm across his eyes, trying to control his breathing and fighting back tears.

 

Sanha felt stupid for blowing up on Minhyuk like that. But he had enough of the silent treatment, the lack of sleep making him more irritated and the feelings he had bottled up inside finally came surfacing. When he was shouting, he could see the regret and sadness reflected back at him and he felt guilty somehow for Minhyuk. It wasn't just Minhyuk's fault, it was his too, for letting it drag this long, he should have just approached him earlier, find out what the hell was going on; he could have fixed it and maybe there was no need for such yelling. 

 

"Hey, aegi, you're shoes might fall off." He heard Bin's familiar voice.

 

"No, Binnie, _he_ might  fall off. I don't understand your fondness for sitting on rooftops when you can't even ride a rollercoaster." Sanha smiled at Myungjun's statement. "Honestly, aga, if Jinwoo was here he'd pull your ears. Or maybe I'll do it instead."

 

The voices came closer until he felt footsteps stopped near him. He raised his arm and opened his eyes to see both his hyungs staring down at him with smirks on their faces.

 

"What?" Sanha muttered before placing his arm back over his eyes. He sensed them moving until there was two bodies sitting on either side of him, both also lying down.

 

"Why you like lying down like this...it's not comfortable at all." Myungjun complained and Sanha gave a small giggle. 

 

He felt a poke on his cheek. "Sanha, this is not good for our backs." Bin said.

 

"Then go away." Sanha whined and gasped followed by giggling as he was attacked with fingers on his sides. "Okay! Okay! I'm gonna fall stooop!"

 

He breathed rapidly as finally they both stopped, by then they were all sat up and grasping the railings in front of them. Instead of lying back down, Sanha leaned on the railing with his arms crossed on them. 

 

"How'd you guys know I was here?"

 

"Jinwoo has a big mouth." Myungjun cackled.

 

"Ew, hyung! TMI!" Bin whined clasping hands against his ears.

 

"Oh my gosh, get your head out the gutter, I meant that he couldn't help but tell me!" Myungjun reached over to slap the top of Bin's head. Meanwhile, Sanha giggled at their antics.

 

"Aw, were you worried about me?" Sanha teased then winced as he too got a slap.

 

"Of course we are! You haven't been in bed when you should be." Myungjun scolded him, and he tilted down his head in apology.

 

"It's not my fault I don't get sleepy!" Sanha whined childishly sticking his tongue out.

 

"You're getting new friends on your face again." Bin jokingly said, because Sanha knew for a fact he didn't have pimples,  thanks .

 

They were all silent for a moment enjoying the breeze and scene below them, until Myungjun spoke again.

 

"Sanha-ssi, what happened back there?" 

 

Sanha froze for a second before he shrugged.

 

"It's not nothing, you blew up and damn you're scary." Bin shivered, remembering the look in Sanha's eyes and Minhyuk's frozen form.

 

Sanha sighed and leaned back on his hands, he darted a glance between the two, the older duo looking at him expectantly. "Fine. He's been ignoring me for months and I guess I blew up. I don't know why, how, what happened earlier, I was just as shocked at myself for going off like that, so I left. There."

 

Myungjun and Bin exchanged a look before looking back down at the maknae.

 

"So, do you know why he's ignoring you?" Bin asked.

 

"No." It was curt and Bin winced at the sharpness of the tone, guess Sanha was still not over what happened earlier.

 

"Did you talk to him?" Myungjun added. "He might have an explanation. I'm sure he has his reasons, right?"

 

"I didn't." Sanha gave a huff. "Maybe he does but the least he could do was tell me and not string me along."

 

"Minhyuk loves you Sanha, there must be a good reason. You know how he gets, he closes up when he has problems and doesn't reach out until the last second and sometimes we have to get to him first or else he's going to keep it to himself until it gets too much." Bin was Minhyuk's best friend, granted they were all best friends, but Bin knew Minhyuk longer and Sanha felt guilty because what his hyung was saying was right. He should have asked the second it happened.

 

"I'm sorry." Sanha mumbled. "I didn't mean to make anyone upset, or Minhyuk upset, I was just mad and angry and it got to me."

 

Bin and Myungjun smiled at him. 

 

"It's okay, aga, you'll talk it out later." Myungjun told him, squeezing his hand in comfort.

 

Bin patted his head. "You're such an aegi, but M-hyung is right, both of you will fix this, and you'll be back to your overly affectionate selves that I'll want to gag."

 

Sanha laughed and bumped Bin's shoulder. "You and Dongmin-hyung are much more gross. Atleast Jinwoo-hyung and M-hyung–" he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "–Actually, you both are more gross than Minhyukkie and me. We're tame compared to you four."

 

"Tame?" Myungjun scoffed. "Let me remind you why you can't share hotel rooms anymore." 

 

Sanha blushed and squealed, slapping a hand to his face. "I thought we weren't going to bring that up! That was one time!!"

 

Myungjun and Bin laughed at the maknae. Okay, so they were all too lovey-dovey with their partners, they had a system now and try to avoid unwarranted scenes. But living together in a dorm, there's bound to be things that they wouldn't want to see but end up seeing anyway.

 

"Hyung, we got to go." Bin said a few minutes later of goofing around, trying to cheer up the maknae.

 

"Awh, where you guys going?" Sanha pouted up at the two, trying to avoid the ruffle to his hair to no avail.

 

"We've got a schedule, so it's just you and Minhyuk home tonight." Myungjun replied, getting up to his feet. He waggled his eyebrows. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

 

"You know that practically is open to everything, right?" Sanha deadpanned.

 

Bin face-palmed. "Just, ignore what M-hyung said."

 

"In all seriousness though, talk it out please." Myungjun smiled at him, and Sanha reluctantly nodded.

 

"We've got to go now, aegi, don't stay out too long in sweaty clothes or you'll get sick." Sanha waved bye to Bin, accepting the parting hug from both his hyungs before watching the door to the rooftop close, leaving him alone.

 

He stared out at the setting sun. Guess they should talk it out. He just hoped the outcome would be good.

 

––––

 

By the time Sanha came down to their dorm, it was silent and by the looks of things, everyone had already left after washing up, if the wet towels on the couch were to indicate anything. He shook his head before taking them towards the hamper, they were bound to do laundry anyway. He padded across to his shared bedroom, noting it was empty, but Minhyuk's bag was at the end of his bed, so he knew the rapper had came home with the others. He brushed that off for now, and grabbed his bathrobe and a fresh towel from the closet to take a much needed bath. 

 

When they moved to a new dorm, they were surprised and elated to find they now had two bathrooms to share and a bathtub in the bigger bathroom (it was a good thing that not everyone liked baths, so Sanha didn't have to fight anyone in choosing which bathroom he'd use and share with the other two members). Though his height wasn't that suitable for the tub, he tends to curl up anyway so it didn't really became a problem.

 

He didn't really feel angry anymore, the emotion having left after talking to Bin and Myungjun, understanding now that his anger was mostly at himself and all he felt now was guilt and sadness and a tad disappointment with both himself and at Minhyuk. He watched as the bubbles rose (he loved bubble baths, okay?) and he took his clothes off and step into the shower to rinse away the grime (he didn't like soaking in his own filth thanks) then stepped back out a moment later to turn off the water of the tub and sinking in not a second later. He sighed in relief as the hot water soaked his tight muscles. He leaned back against the tub and closed his eyes, enjoying the relaxed feeling of being in the water.

 

Sanha must have slept because he startled awake to see Minhyuk staring at him. The rapper was in a robe, his hair wet (he must have used the shower already) and he was leaned against the wall staring at Sanha wide sad eyes. 

 

They stared at each other for a moment before Minhyuk licked his lips nervously. "Can I join you?"

 

It was silent for a beat or two, in which time Minhyuk had stopped breathing and Sanha's heart had started ramming against his chest, before Sanha nodded, once. Minhyuk gave him a timid smile while Sanha looked away as he started untying his robe. Sanha scooted forward in the water (did he mention their tub keeps the water warm? no? well, it does and it makes falling asleep okay without worrying the water getting cold) as the dancer slipped behind him, he leaned back against his chest once Minhyuk was situated with his legs on either side of him and arms wrapping around him. 

 

It was another minute before, "I'm sorry."

 

They both gave out small chuckles as they said it at the same time. Sanha leaned his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, hiding his face in his neck. Meanwhile, Minhyuk trailed his hands over Sanha's arms until he could intertwine their hands together.

 

"I'm sorry, Sanha. I didn't mean to avoid you or ignore you or give you an idea for us to break up." Minhyuk whispered against Sanha's forehead, placing chaste kisses there, Sanha closing his eyes at the touch (he missed this, their closeness, it felt too lonely).

 

"Why did you?" Sanha croaked out, the tears he'd been fighting the whole day finally streaming silently down his cheeks.

 

Minhyuk wiped the tears away, placing a kiss on either cheeks, lips lingering there. "I'm sorry. I was feeling insecure, and I just listened to it instead of speaking to you about it."

 

"Insecure?"

 

Minhyuk pulled him closer, like the feeling of their naked skin against each other wasn't enough. "Yes. I started having insecurities about myself, about not being good enough for you. So I pulled away, I listened to the voices, agreeing with them about how I'm not good enough for a boyfriend. But I talked to Jinwoo-hyung and Dongmin-hyung today, and I know now I shouldn't have listened to any of it."

 

They were silent after that. Sanha trailed his fingers over Minhyuk's neck, going down his shoulders, then back up, before, "Babo."

 

Minhyuk looked down at him in surprise. Sanha pinched his cheek hard, and he whined at the sudden pain. "Hey!"

 

"You're stupid. Honestly, you are the best boyfriend anyone could have,  I could have. You take care of me even when I don't need it, I'm not saying I hate it, and you buy me the cutest things when I even hint at liking them. You listen to my weird ramblings even when the others give up on talking to me because they don't get what I'm saying, but you do." Sanha pulled his head down to place a lingering kiss, before pulling away slowly, lips touching his as he spoke. "That goes to show how much you deserve me and how much I love you back as much you love me."

 

Minhyuk stared at him for a moment, before muttering. "I love you so much Sanha."

 

Sanha smiled and nuzzled his nose against his cheek. "Me too. I love you too."

 

They stayed like that for a minute. Enjoying the feel of being close again, the months not being in each other's arms finally ended, and they relished in the warmth of the other.

 

"One thing I learned for sure."

 

Sanha hummed. "What?"

 

"No one deserves you, not even me. But I'll work hard to deserve having a boyfriend like you."

 

Sanha blushed before he was pulled into a kiss that left him stuttering for breath.

 

It was their first kiss in months, however it didn't reflect the rushed hunger they assumed they'd feel. It was languid, soft and gliding against each other, but still left them just as breathless. Minhyuk had a hand on his cheek, tilting his head back as he coaxed his mouth to open so he could gain entry and taste what he'd been missing and craving. When he did, he groaned as their tongue pushed against each other, like a greeting before the soft kiss turned into something more. As soon as that happened, the tables turned and Sanha leant his head back on the tub as Minhyuk leaned over him, his hands running over the wet chest of the rapper, water splashing as they moved. Sanha whimpered when Minhyuk pulled away.

 

Sanha blinked his eyes open, not remembering closing them, and he stared up at the lustful look his boyfriend was sporting, sure his reflected the same. 

 

"Should we get out?" Minhyuk said softly, his fingers distracting Sanha from actually answering. "Sanha?"

 

"Huh?" Sanha blushed before he remembered they were in the water and were starting to prune. "Yeah."

 

They both giggled as they almost slipped getting out of the water. They took turns in drying each other, every touch making Sanha burn with want. As they exited the bathroom with their robes on, they crossed the living room towards their room. They entered the bedroom and before Sanha knew it, he was being kissed thoroughly against the door and he clasped the shoulders in front of him as he moaned into Minhyuk's mouth. He felt his robe parting before hands trailed down his chest then to his stomach where they moved behind him and rested there.

 

One thing led to another and they both ended up on Minhyuk's bed. Sanha giggled as he heard a thump, having kicked the rapper's bag off the bed. He immediately groaned as he was silenced with another biting kiss, Minhyuk straddling his naked form. 

 

"Are you sure?" Minhyuk whispered a moment later as he trailed his kisses down Sanha's body, fingers prepping him open. Sanha's frantic nod was all the answer he needed before he leaned back up and over Sanha's form, fingers still moving, scissoring him open. "How do you want it, baby?"

 

"Want to see you." Sanha whimpered out, arching his back as he hit a certain spot. He smirked as his boyfriend practically pulled his fingers out and situated himself to his liking, pulling on his arms impatiently. "Hyukkie, _please_."

 

He watched Sanha gasp as he slid halfway in one swift movement, brushing away the strands that have fallen on the younger's eyes. He pumped slowly, keeping it nice and steady, teasing the younger before, and he should have known, Sanha's legs pushed him all the way in, the younger's arching his body up welcoming the fit. He leaned down and placed his mouth over Sanha's, kissing him as he gradually sped up, keening noises escaping the younger as he too grunted out as the feeling of pleasure swept over them.

 

"So close," was breathed out near his ear, and Minhyuk sped his movements, bottoming out each time, hands grasping either legs over his shoulder. 

 

"Let go, baby, you're so good." He groaned out as the walls around him clench tight, before Sanha reached for him and he leaned down placing a deep kiss, licking inside his mouth before trailing his lips over to his neck, Sanha's mouth on his shoulder biting at him as his climax finally pulled out of him. A few moments later, Minhyuk followed, emptying inside of him with a final groan.

 

After wiping them both clean, Sanha curled up on Minhyuk's chest, his fingers writing on the skin. Minhyuk stared at him, eyes full and he couldn’t help but return the gaze. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Minhyuk trailed his fingers over his face, eyes guilty as he followed his movements. 

 

Sanha closed his eyes for a moment, pressing into the fingers dancing on his skin before he opened them and caught the hand and pressed a kiss to its palm. “Me too. Next time we feel this way, promise me we talk about it instead of leaving it alone and keeping it to ourselves.”

 

Minhyuk leaned down and pressed his lips softly against his, once, twice. “Promise.”

 

 

They were silent, save for the exchange of sweet kisses, hands roaming over skin, until.

 

"We're dirty." Sanha giggled out, returning the kiss as Minhyuk leaned down to press a chaste peck.

 

"Hmm, let's shower again, before the hyungs come home." Minhyuk said, eyeing the clock on the wall. "We'll never hear the end of it."

 

"True, they teased me about the hotel thing again today." Sanha pouted and he slapped Minhyuk's chest when the latter smirked down at him. "It's not funny."

 

"It is a little bit."

 

"No, because now we're not allowed to be roommates again."

 

Minhyuk kissed his pout away. "That hasn't stopped us. Besides, Jinwoo-hyung could only handle so long without M-hyung."

 

Sanha giggled again. "True." Then he thumbed the bite marks he left on Minhyuk's neck and jaw. "Then again, one look at us and they'll know regardless if we showered or not."

 

They became silent after that, before they decided they should probably get up and get washed up,  _again_ . Sanha wrinkled his nose as he felt himself dripping. 

 

"This is why we need condoms."

 

"Sorry, we were both kinda distracted."

 

Sanha leaned down and pressed a kiss on his boyfriend's jaw as they exited the room. "I don't really mind." Before running towards the bathroom.

 

Minhyuk blinked, trying to process what just happened, before smirking, and running after his baby minx. 

 

 

 

Safe to say, days after that were back to normal, as the other four members regretfully look on in disgust at the amount of skinship and PDA the two showed. They should have left them to fight more. 

 

(But even though they had to endure such PDA moments, it failed in comparison at the bright and cheery members that have been depressed and out of it for months. It was a _small_ price to pay.)

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing mxm smut so please be patient and nice :) tell me how it went and how I can fix it next time !! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it regardless xx


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